tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67331284496265311452024-03-13T11:27:43.658-07:00Maia's WorldMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.comBlogger266125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-1246605840928430572014-09-07T08:13:00.000-07:002014-09-07T08:13:27.373-07:00Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Program Week 3I skipped a week, sorry about that. Now on to the next step, I hope all of you are eating your three meals a day and taking your time while your eating, Now on to the next step, Those three meals are all you are going to eat. Now I know that most of the weight loss programs out there encourage you to eat several healthy snacks a day, why aren't I? Because I happen to know how fast that apple or celery sticks can turn into an entire bag of chips or a dozen chocolate chip cookies. So no more snacks. If you get hungry, I'm going to introduce you to a thin person's best friend, Tums. Tums are calcium which we could all use a lot of and they take away hunger. Hunger, unless you're living in a third world country and your starving, is mostly an over acid stomach. So take two Tums and anticipate your wonderful next meal. That's all there is to it,Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-56741004073306207092014-08-24T08:46:00.002-07:002014-08-24T08:48:15.689-07:00Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Program Week 2Now I'm sure that you all have been eating three meals a day, right? Now that wasn't too hard was it? This week, I'm going to add something to that. I want you to take at least a half an hour to eat each meal. Why, because most people who are heavy are mindlessly and quickly shoving down the food I know I did. You are eating so quickly that you don't even have time to taste what your putting in your mouth. And that's a problem.<br />
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When you start to slow down the meals, you are going to really, maybe for the first time, in a long time, taste what you are eating. Does all that grease and fat really taste good? I don't think so. So this week I want you to really taste your food. You can do it. And while your at it, make a list of what you like, when you really taste it and what you can do without.<br />
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How hard is this? Now I've heard that some southern university has published a study that says if you count how many times you chew and you only chew 1000 times, you are guaranteed to lose weight. Well who in their right mind has time to count how many times they chew their food? Just slow it down and you'll do fine.<br />
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Oh yes, if any of you want to see how Dweezil and Squig are doing out west, head on over to:<br />
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www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-87225541126091763342014-08-16T06:56:00.002-07:002014-08-16T06:56:44.914-07:00Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Plan Week 1Since I lost the 35 pounds and have kept it off for a year now, I am constantly being asked, how did you do that. So i have decided to give you my step by step no fail weight loss plan. Now I know that most horse people are already thin. So for those of you who are not horse people, let me clue you, the horse isn't the only one getting exercise<b> </b>here.<br />
<br />
So what are you going to do this week, to propel you on the course for a thin new you. You are going to eat three meals a day. That's what you are going do. I don't care what those meals are, but there are going to be three of them.<br />
<br />
I can here that muttering, "Oh Miss Maia, it's so easy for you to eat three meals a day, you don't have my high stress job, hideous commute, never ending chore list. I don't have time to eat three meals a day."<br />
<br />
Well get over it. I have all of the above and if I can, you can too. Did say what those meals had to be? Nope, I'm leaving that up to you. If you want to drive to work eating a McGriddle and tater tots, washed down with a Mocha Latte, it's entirely up to you.<br />
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There is some science behind the three meals a day rule. When you skip meals, your body goes into starvation mode and super utilizes every calorie you take in. This makes it almost impossible to lose any weight.<br />
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So take a nice long look at yourself in the mirror and if you think you could stand to lose a few, find a way to eat those three meals<br />
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PS: Remember, I don't care what those meals are, if you hate breakfast foods, eat something you like in the morning, This diet isn't about deprivation and feeling miserable. It's about looking and feeling fantastic.Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-90543002507317341102014-05-15T18:28:00.001-07:002014-05-16T12:53:53.235-07:00Something New at Welcome to Katz CityHead on over to Welcome to Katz City for a three part episode in which Sheriff Squig, with the "help" of Deputy Harlan attempts to evict the hookers from the Katz City Cafe.<br />
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http.welcometokatzcity.blogspot,comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-82595155065081183252014-04-06T09:01:00.001-07:002014-04-06T09:01:40.483-07:00New Post at Katz Citywww.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-77465111116281601892014-03-30T13:13:00.003-07:002014-03-30T13:13:46.201-07:00Where Have All the BloggersOK guys, so like where are you! You know people who regularly read your blogs tend to worry if they don't see you in a while. You leave us with unanswered question. So here we go.<br />
<br />
1 Alright Darcy, I know you're alive because you commented. What's the latest with your farm. Did you get it up and running? <br />
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2. California Cowgirl. How's your showing. How's your new horse working? Did your daughter get that camel? What's new.<br />
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3. Life on the Rough Strings, your photos are superb, but what's going on with you and your dogs, horses, life.<br />
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4. Deniserata, two years and not one word. You better be fine and dandy.<br />
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And the rest of you, I know it's a pain, but your lives are not boring and I miss you.<br />
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Up to my knees in mud.Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-19706933108027732552014-03-23T14:08:00.000-07:002014-03-23T14:12:48.175-07:00Jolie's Going to CampWhen friends ask, "so where are you going on vacation this year? I am forced to say, "nowhere, Jolie's going to camp." She's three this year and is going to trained to ride. Well that's the plan. I'm calling the trainer tomorrow and see when we can schedule her. I wanted to do it in April, but this winter, and now spring has been so annoying, I decided to wait until I was sure we would have decent weather. Well it's going to snow again this week. One day it's 70 and two days later it snows. The mud seems to dry out and then we have two days of downpours and it's back again. So, I decided, if I wait until I'm sure the snow is over, it will be July and then it will be 100 degrees, with 100% humidity and code red air. So, I'll keep you posted on when she goes and how the training is going,<br />
<br />
Since the link to my other blog doesn't seem to want to work, here it is: www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-42535162668828603972014-03-16T08:33:00.000-07:002014-03-16T08:33:05.608-07:00It's Been A YearWell what do you know. It's been a year since I stepped back and let the cat's take over. Now why on earth would I do that. Well, for one thing, thinking up things for them to do is fun. I don't know what that says about me. But it is fun. When I'm stuck in traffic on the beltway, instead of fuming I start planning a new adventure for them, or a new character comes to me and I start laughing. I guess I'm channeling my inner twelve year old. Anyway it's also been a year since a series of unfortunate events led to me losing 35 yes 35 pounds.<br />
<br />
Here's what happened. It's also my birthday, so last year for my birthday, I decided to buy some new clothes. I called a local store, told them my size and could hardly wait to see what the personal shopper selected. Well when I got there, none of the clothes fit. I had gone up a size. Now I don't want you to think, I was fuming because I'd gone from a size zero to a 1 and 1/2. Not hardly. I was now in an extra large and you can guess the size number because I'm not telling.<br />
<br />
Well I figured that they were cutting the clothes smaller in an effort to cheap out. So I just went up a size, after all it's not about the size, it's about the fit. Right.<br />
<br />
So on to the doctor, where guess what, my blood pressure was up. It was Saturday and they didn't make me step on the scale. That was obviously all about my allergy medicine. So the doctor switched my allergy medicine, the fact that I was wearing gicantor jeans had nothing to do with it.<br />
<br />
Now we are up to my best friends birthday party on a wonderful brunch cruise. So of course our jolly group decided to have our picture taken. And when I looked at it, there staring me in the face was the truth. Somehow I had gotten FAT. Not plump, not chubby, FAT. I was shocked and determined to know the truth. So the very next day which was a Monday, I weighed myself on the hospital scale and almost passed out. I had to weigh myself twice, because I couldn't believe what the scale was showing. And right then and there I determined to do something about this.<br />
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The first thing I decided was I was not going on a diet, because I don't think diets work. In my opinion, here's why diets don't work. You starve yourself until you've lost a few and then you don't have to diet and back up the scale you go. Nope I was going to change the way I eat and the amount I eat. And I told myself I was going to be hungry until I got used to it, but I was just going to be hungry and I did it.<br />
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The weight came off. I eat everything, but just not as much. That's all there is to it. What's been interesting is that I can now really taste the food and I actually love what I'm eating. And it takes me longer to eat the smaller portions than it did to shovel down the linebacker meals, who knew.<br />
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Oh yes, my polar vortex update. Yesterday it was sunny and seventy. It's been windy, so the mud is drying out. But we can't have that oh no. So today and tomorrow its going to snow. Lovely, just lovely. <br />
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To see what's going on in Katz City, check out welcometokatzity.blogspot.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-46031707147337325762014-03-09T08:24:00.002-07:002014-03-09T08:24:55.683-07:00And Now a Word From Their SponsorWhile part of the gang is packing up and Squig is enjoying his cross country trip. I thought I say a few words about what's going on here in the great white south.<br />
<br />
Hello Al Gore, I thought we were supposed to be having global warming. I thought Maryland was supposed to feel like North Carolina, instead it feels like the North Pole. Here are two words I would like to have erased from the English Language, "Polar Vortex." This winter has been miserable, it's been cold, snowy, icy and just down right lousy. Oh yes, we have had a few unusually warm days and do you want to know what that does? It melts the snow fast, so for a day or two we have mud that's the consistency of soup and then the temperature drops quickly and we have icy mud. Icy mud that's covered in a nice layer of snow. Riding, who can ride? I haven't been riding since December when this whole mess started. Why, when it's warm enough to ride, the mud is as slippery as glass and the rest of the time, there's the ice underneath the snow which makes riding impossible. Do you know it's been warmer in Durango than it has been here.<br />
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Oh yes, the deer. When it first started getting cold this little family of four deer would come to the edge of the property and the doe would stare up at my house. After awhile I figured, she must have been one of the fawns I fed in 2010. So when it got bitterly cold and there was nothing for them to eat, I started feeding them again. How much trouble would it be to feed four deer. Well it wasn't too long before they picked up two orphan fawns. Six deer, that's not too bad. Then two more joined and it was eight deer and as the winter progressed, they told all of their friends and extended family about the all you can eat buffet and it was twelve deer. Well those twelve told twelve more and I was feeding twenty four deer. During last Monday's snowy mess, I counted thirty deer. This is getting out of hand. Thirty deer! Several of my neighbors are joining in feeding them, but still.<br />
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Let's see what else can I complain about. I've relearned how to drive on snow and steer through a skid. They say this spring is going to be colder than ever. If that happens I am going to turn into a real contrarian. The light is great though. It's getting stronger and brighter every day. Maybe soon, but in the meantime, I have more mud to pick out hooves, hungry deer and horses who have had it. So here I sit, longing for spring.<br />
<br />
Bye.<br />
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PS: If you think Harlan is done go over to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com to see what more trouble he can cause.<br />
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-18673017195619316122014-03-02T10:30:00.000-08:002014-03-02T10:30:16.964-08:00Moving On - Part 1Dweezil stood with Squig in the train station. "Now you remember what you're going to do and you have everything you need," he asked.<br />
<br />
"Yes, Dweeze. I have all of my tickets. I'm changing trains in Chicago and Denver and arriving at Katz City at 3:00. Ms. Katz will be at the station to meet me. I'm going to go with her to the cafe. Once I'm there, I'm going to snoop around and call you." He repeated, not looking at all happy. "I just don't know why I have to go there first. Why I can't go with you, Trixie and the rest of the family."<br />
<br />
"Because, I want you there to be eyes and ears in a way I can't and the girls can't. When I get there, I've got too much to do to get the lay of the land."<br />
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"Squig," Trixie shouted as she ran to where he was standing. "I couldn't let you leave without one more good bye kiss." She said wrapping her paws around him and kissing him soundly. Pushing him back, she looked him in the eye and smiled. "Just remember, you're mine and don't go getting to friendly with those cowgirls."<br />
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Squig smiled as he leaned in for one more kiss.<br />
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"All aboard," the conductor called out and lifting his backpack, Squig turned to wave one last good bye and went down the stairs to board the train.<br />
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"I just have this feeling that everything is going to be so different once we're out west," Trixie said to herself sadly.<br />
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GO TO WWW.WELCOMETOKATZCITY.BLOGSPOT.COM to see what's going on there.<br />
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-70743572988254007522014-02-23T08:10:00.001-08:002014-02-23T08:13:48.793-08:00Finding Home Part IV - The Cat City CafeTrixie rushed into the den, barely taking the time to take off her coat and scarf. "Dweezil, so tell me all about our new restaurant. She cried out breathlessly, "I can hardly wait to hear all about it.<br />
<br />
"Trixie sit down and catch your breath, " Dweezil smiled as he walked over to the desk and removed a full color brochure. Putting on his reading glasses, he opened it and began reading.<br />
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"The Cat City Cafe is the only establishment in Cat City owned by descendants of the founding family. In 1884, Louella Katz defied her father and opened a saloon and restaurant catering to the hoards of miners flooding the town. Word spread quickly of her fair prices and delectable meals and soon the Cafe was the largest and most well known establishment in the county. From that time until the present day, it has been wholly owned and operated by a female member of the Katz family. It's doors have remained open in even the hardest of times. During the great depression it served as the town's soup kitchen. And in every armed conflict, From World War I to the current action in Afghanistan it has served as a little reminder of home for our brave service cats in action."<br />
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Trixie listened intently, but something was bothering her so she had Dweezil read it again. And finally after hearing it for the second time, asked, "But Dweezil what kind of food are they serving at the Cafe?"<br />
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To find out exactly what is being served at the Katz City Cafe go to www.welcometokatzcity.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-51104960915597378852014-02-15T21:00:00.001-08:002014-10-05T09:09:05.445-07:00Finding Home Part III<span style="font-size: large;">"While we're waiting for Trixie," Dweezil said, let me tell you a little about the town. Anneabelle, this should interest you, Let me see where did I put that description. Oh yes, here it is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Katz City School is a progressive pre-K through 12 grade school. Principal Paul Kirki, PhD and Vice Principal Sally Alba, MA are taking the school into the 21st century with a host of progressive programs in the arts and athletics while maintaining the high educational standards that have made the school famous in this part of the state."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Go to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com to see what's going on at Katz City School.</span>Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-29015214802031740682014-02-09T10:32:00.001-08:002014-10-05T09:23:12.780-07:00Finding Home Part II Katz City<span style="font-size: large;">"Calm down," Dweezil said as the family rushed to him with a thousand questions. "Let me sit down and Squig why don't you call Trixie and tell her to come over, she's going to want to hear about it too.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As soon as Squig came back, Dweezil sat himself down and said, " Katz City is the garden spot of southern Colorado. According to their website. It is a town built on silver with a golden future.</span><br />
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To see what's going on in Katz City go to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.comMaiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-70370594658848481502014-02-02T13:12:00.001-08:002014-10-05T09:08:34.164-07:00Finding Home Part II<span style="font-size: large;">Dweezil was so happy, he almost skipped into the kitchen. He was holding an email he had printed and could hardly wait to share his good news with the rest of the family.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">He stopped cleared his throat and then began, "Dear Mr. Felinerino,"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Squig, dropped his morning paper, and placing his paws squarely on the table, leaned forward and hissed, "read that to me again."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Dear Mr. Felinerino," Dweezil repeated, puzzled over his friends' reaction.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"And Mr. Felinerino would be," Squig asked, laying back his ears.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Me," Dweezil said touching his paw to his chest, "I am Mr. Felinerino."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"You mean to tell me that for all of these years while you were giving me a load of crap about being Squigman Igmeioukowski, you were hiding a name like Felinerino? Wasn't just a few months ago that a cat named Felinerino actually had the nerve to say that a worm or an amoeba would be embarrassed to be named Igmeiouskowski,"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"There is absolutely no comparison between Felinerno and Igmeioukowski," Dweezil said airily, waving his paw for emphasis. Felinerino is melodious and bell sounding. It is regal and uplifting. While Igmeioukowski sounds like a bad combination of a lady cat in heat and duck farting,"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Why you, miserable snake," Squig squawked preparing to hurl himself on to Dweezil. He was stopped almost in mid leap by shriek of a police whistle.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yvette lowered her whistle and said calmly, "Is there something else you would like to share with us Dweezil, besides our last name."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes," Dweezil grumbled. "My offer to buy the Katz City Cafe was excepted. We are moving to Colorado in the spring.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-58935686290365976462014-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:002014-10-05T09:07:45.410-07:00Finding Home<span style="font-size: large;">Dweezil sat at his desk looking at his well pawed copy of Feline Entrepreneur, the Chef's Edition. He had bookmarked four possibilities and he looked over them one last time before he made his final decision. It would be his decision after all. He'd told the others that they'd have a say in where they landed. But the decision was ultimately his. He'd figure a way to convince it was all of their decisions once he'd finalized his plans.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Le Chat, a chic bistro in New York City was his first choice. It was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more. From the decor to the location to the described clientele, it was just perfect. Perfect, except for one tiny flaw. It was just perfect for him. Trixie would never be able to manage that sophisticated a wait staff. They'd be on to her in a minute. And Squigman, what would he do? And Annabelle, when he thought about all of the temptations and trouble a pretty little kitten could get herself into; he knew that he'd have to pass.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That left, The Cozy Inn in Felandria, Minnesota. The description looked good. A cheerful place where the happy clientele came in from the cold to warm up to delicious food and good company. But he'd had enough of the polar vortex to last a lifetime and so anyplace in Minnesota was out of the question.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Then there was the Sea Shell Cafe in Key West. Too hot. He'd have to spend a fortune getting himself shaved and what was the point of having long hair if you had to spend your life looking like Squigman. So that was out. It was a pity because he was testing out some new seafood recipes, he like to offer. But the thought of spending his days with short hair, was a price he wasn't willing to pay,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">La Cantina, in Taos, New Mexico. He could see them all thriving in that artistic town. But he didn't know any Mexican dishes and he knew enough to know that learning on the job was not an option.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That left the Cat City Cafe in Cat City, Colorado. It was described as a thriving yet intimate establishment, where the patrons came for a good time and good food and always left with a satisfied smile. Cat City was described on it's website as the garden spot of the San Madres. A town founded by silver with a golden future. The wild west tamed by intellect and sophistication. It was in short, a place anyone would be proud to call home.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So it was decided. They were moving to Cat City, Colorado.</span><br />
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-79223020862702221112014-01-20T07:45:00.001-08:002014-10-05T09:07:20.992-07:00The Winds of Change Part IV - An Agreement is reached<span style="font-size: large;">"You're going to move?" Trixie asked deflating like a balloon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Trixie, my dear," Dweezil said smiling over at her. "I said we're going to have to move. Just think about the opportunities a new location will provide. We can all make a fresh new start. See new things, meet new freinds. Create a whole new life for ourselves." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dweezil looked over at her as his words sunk in. She could go somewhere brand new where no one had ever heard of Dominatrixie. She could be that respectable, in charge professional that been hiding underneath all of those layers of sleaze. She could be Ms. Trixie Catotski, Manager, the boss of all she surveyed. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she said primly, "I couldn't let you start a business all by yourself, of course I'll come with you."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yvette, seeing the long line of lonely, viril bachelors of a certain age fading into nothingness, said, "Son, I couldn't let you move to a place where you didn't have family. Of course I'll go with you."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"What about me, father," Annie squeaked. "I want to go too. I want to go too."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Anneabelle, of course you're coming with us. There is no way we would leave without you."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"But you could leave without me," Squig screamed jumping up. "Every last one of you could leave me sitting here all by myself."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Why no, Squigman," Dweezil said pleasantly, "Of course you are coming with us. We are not moving without you."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Squig sat down and looked as three pairs of female eyes stared over at him, all of them just daring him to mess up this glorious opportunity. And in that instant, he knew what Dweezil had done. Without asking him directly, he fixed so that he had to move, whether he wanted to or not.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Allright, Dweezil," he grumped. "Count me in. I'm coming with you to where ever it is we are going."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Thank you Squigman," Dweezil purred. It wouldn't be the same without you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-61651391994735460022014-01-05T10:30:00.002-08:002014-10-05T09:05:20.982-07:00The Winds of Change Part II Devising a Plan<span style="font-size: large;">Dweezil sat his desk with a pad of paper and a pen, trying to think up ways to motivate the family to move. This was not going to be easy. He drummed his claws on the desk as he connived ways to motivate Squigman. Mr. Squigman was a slug, a set in his ways, lazy slug. The only way to motivate him to move was with a stick of dynamite, or a rope tied securely around his legs and two burly cats hired to drag him, screaming and protesting, out of the house.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But wait, if Squigman was a lazy slug, Trixie certainly wasn't. So the way to motivate Squigman was to motivate Trixie. Now what would motivate her? A wonderful job opportunity at his chic cafe. She was currently a bar maid and he would just be willing to bet, she'd like a promotion, say to chief waitress. That was it, He offer her the job of chief waitress, the boss of all the other wait staff. That would get her securely in his corner.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"Now what about mother," he thought to himself. What would motivate her. His mother was only ten and still very attractive in a middle aged sort of way. What if he offered her the job of hostess and hinted that she would be in an excellent position to meet all sorts of gentlemen cats of a certain age. He smiled diabolically at the thought of just how fast his mother would find herself motivated to move.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That left Annabelle and she was just a kitten, so he could make up any number of exciting adventures she would be having in her new home town.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It was done. He would motivate the females and they would gang up on Squigman and he wouldn't have to do a thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"When you're doing the right thing, " he congratulated himself, "everything else just falls into place.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">TO BE CONTINUED</span></b>Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-67175067820745980562013-12-29T09:38:00.001-08:002014-10-05T09:04:56.374-07:00The Winds of Change - Part 1<span style="font-size: large;">Dweezil sat alone on New Year's Eve staring into the file. Squig was out with Trixie and his mother and Annabelle were in the kitchen getting the pans and wooden spoons ready to bang at midnight. But it was his habit to sit quietly for a few hours, reflecting on the old year and making plans for the one to come. Next year he would be eight and that meant middle aged and what did he have to show for it, nothing. He could just envision the years as they rolled on past. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">First, he would be the best man at Squig's wedding and then before he knew it, he would be walking Annabelle down the aisle at her wedding. And just where would that leave him? A joke, a middle aged cat who lived with his mother, no relationship, no business, no nothing. He fought the urge to cry or sink into despair. This town had absolutely nothing for him. He was stuck. He slumped down into the chair and allowed himself a few minutes to wallow.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But wait. If this town held nothing for him. Maybe there was a town or a city that did. That's it. That's all he had to do, move. He would go to a new place and start over. But this time he'd do it right. He'd find a business, buy it and move to it's location. A chic little cafe, just waiting for a new owner to breathe life back into it. All he had to do was find it and then wait for a whole new life to begin. Leaning back, and closing his eyes, he spent a few minutes envisioning the sleeker, more sophisticated version of himself ushering the high class clientele, his cafe would naturally draw, in to savor the delicacies he would have in store for them. It was all going to be wonderful. Next year on New Year's Eve he wouldn't be sitting alone like some maudlin middle aged joke, he would be hosting a wonderful party at his new cafe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There was only one little problem with his fresh new start. Actually, there were four, his mother, Annabelle, Squigman and Trixie. He couldn't leave without them. So he was just going to have to spend the next several days thinking up a fool proof plan to get them excited about moving. Yes, he felt much better already. And with a happy heart he went into the kitchen to joyously welcome the new year.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-1644892475799091432013-12-24T06:43:00.000-08:002013-12-24T06:43:23.357-08:00Tis the Season - Merry ChristmasHe had appeared like a wisp of smoke down the chimney and slowly materialized into the large white cat, with a Christmas wreath slipped over one ear and a large sack slung over his shoulder, standing in front of them. <br />
<br />
Dropping his sack , he stood silently studying the small stocking hung on the mantle. First he pulled a pair of spectacles from thin air and then reaching into his sack brought up an electronic tablet. Turning it on and typing something, he waited a few seconds and then said, "Ah yes, Miss Annabelle Snowballinsky-Igmieukowski lives her and she would like a teddy mouse with pink sparkly dress."<br />
<br />
Snapping his claws, a small stuffed mouse with movable arms and legs appeared and flew into the stocking. Then tapping his claw against his cheek, he thought to himself out loud, "Ah yes the pink sparkly dress." Suddenly the mouse was wearing a dress. <br />
<br />
"And she'll need a nightgown and a snowsuit and a dress that's not too fancy," he cataloged as he reached into his sack and stuffed the items into the stocking which grew larger as each one was added to it. Oh yes and pair of ice skates and a special from Santa candy cane. He smiled as he added the last few things to the stocking. And then standing back he looked it over and declared it perfect.<br />
<br />
"Isn't he supposed to say, ho, ho, ho or something," Squig whispered, breaking Santa's concentration.<br />
<br />
He twirled around and stared into four pairs of awe struck eyes. He frowned a little, concentrating on Trixie as if there was something about her that worried him. And then smiling, proclaimed, "Little Trixie Catotsky, I finally found you after all these years. I do believe that you wanted a pale blue sparkling bird with a real feather tail. He turned and dug deep into his sack, routed around a bit and held out exactly what she had asked for. "You moved on Christmas Eve and I couldn't find you, but here is your kitten heart's desire."<br />
<br />
Trixie took the stuffed bird and cradled it against her chest for a minute and then sighing, handed it back to Santa. "There's a homeless kitten who lives near me, I think this would really make her Christmas special. She has lost so much, please give it to her."<br />
<br />
"Now Trixie, Santa knows all about little Candy, and has something special for her already, including the ingredients for a wonderful Christmas dinner. This bird is yours and I want you to have it.<br />
<br />
Squig's head was about to explode as he watched the touching scene in front of him. "What am I," he squawked," the only cat on the planet Santa had nothing for. If you can find the homeless, why in the hell couldn't you find me?"<br />
<br />
Santa spun around and giving Squig a decided stink eye declared. "Little Squiggles Igmieukowski I do believe on Christmas morning you found three little mice who when you placed them together all squeaked and ran in different directions."<br />
<br />
"Yes, but Dweezil gave me.." he stopped as everyone in the room turned to stare at Dweezil.<br />
<br />
"It wasn't fair, " he proclaimed in righteous indignation. "You were getting a Santa gift and I wasn't ."<br />
<br />
"Because, " Santa said emphatically, "You received your teddy mouse the year before." And staring him straight in the eye, why did you let Squig believe that you gave him those mice instead of me?<br /><br />
Dweezil deflated like a balloon, and said, quietly, "because I wanted him to like me."<br />
<br />
For the first time, Squig saw the vulnerability that was underneath all of Dweezil's bombast and bossiness and said as he through his arms around him. "Like you, Dweeze, I loved you. I was an only kitten and suddenly I had this wonderful big brother who played with me and watched out for me and even let me snuggle up when I was afraid. How could you possibly think I didn't like you."<br />
<br />
Santa sighed deeply and said, "Well I can't have a kitten thinking I neglected him, "What would you like, Squiggles? What is your heart's desire?"<br />
<br />
Squig paused, and looked at his family and girlfriend and thought about the little lady upstairs and how excited she was going to be this morning when she woke up and saw that teddy mouse, and smiling, said, "Not a thing, Santa. I already have my heart's desire. It's all right here around me."<br />
<br />
"Well, if you will excuse me, it's getting late and I have places to go and stockings to fill." Santa boomed heartily and then laying a finger aside of his nose, he winked at them all and up the chimney he rose. And they heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.</span></b></div>
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-647334398106600052013-12-22T07:29:00.000-08:002013-12-22T07:29:20.485-08:00Tis the Season Part 3<span style="font-size: large;">Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(<i>Now I ask you where on this planet would you find a mouse dumb enough to want to live in that house!)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The stocking was hung by the chimney with care,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In hopes that old Santa Cat soon would be there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Little Annie was nestled all snug in her bed;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">While visions of teddy mice danced in her head.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The rest were downstairs watching the fire crackle and snap,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Trying to decide on a tasty night cap,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">They all stood as one to see what was the matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Away to the window they flew like a flash, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Gave a lustre of midday to the objects below,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When what to their wondering eyes did appear,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer <i>(mice.)</i></span><br />
<br />
"<span style="font-size: large;">Holy crap," Squig muttered under his breath. "He's real!" and then shrieked, "Put out that fire! we don't want to be the family that french fried Santa!"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>TO BE CONTINUED</b></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-17749516798868076602013-12-15T09:13:00.001-08:002013-12-15T09:13:30.193-08:00Tis the Season Part 2Yvette looked contentedly at her small family. They were gathered in the living room, sitting in front of the fire,with the tree finally decorated and sparkling in the corner. The final decoration of the tree had taken the skills of a United Nations Peace Keeping mission, but in the end it had been accomplished. Squg had seen reason. Ray Lewis had left the team and so it wouldn't be right to give him the place of honor as tree top angel. Dweezil had been bludgeoned into accepting that the tree was for the whole family and whole family got a say in how it was decorated. Squig got to keep one of his Raven's angels as long as he fixed the rest. And so eleven Metropolitan Museum of art angels and one Justin Tucker angel graced the tree. There was only one more thing to do.<br />
<br />
From her knitting bag, she took out a pink knit stocking with the name Annie knitted across the top. "Do you what this is?" she asked as walked over to the mantle and hung the stocking.<br />
<br />
"No Grandmom, I don't." Annie replied looking up at her.<br />
<br />
"Well," she began, "way up in the North Pole there is a jolly old elf called Santa Cat. He and the rest of the elves spend all year in their workshop making toys and on Christmas Eve he hitches eight tiny deer mice to he sleigh and goes around the world giving out gifts. He lands on the roof and comes down the chimney and give each kitten the one gift that is his or her's hearts desire. So," she continued smiling down at Annie, we have hung this stocking so Santa Cat can bring you your heart's desire."<br />
<br />
"You mean Santa Cat is going to bring me a pink teddy mouse in a sparkly dress," Annie squeaked hugging herself with delight.<br />
<br />
"Oh crap," Squig thought to himself, "where in the hell am I going to find a pink teddy mouse in a sparkly dress when I don't even know what a teddy mouse is."<br />
<br />
"Well, we don't know what Santa Cat will bring, so we're just going to have to wait and see. Now I think it's time one little kitten went to bed. So you go along upstair and I'll be up directly to tuck you in."<br />
<br />
"Good night, grandmom. Good night, Dad. Good night, Father. Annie said as she went around the room giving each one a good night kiss and left.<br />
<br />
She was barely out of the room before Squig, feeling like his head was going to explode, barked, "Why on earth did you have to tell her that load of crap about Santa Cat. Everybody knows there's no Santa Cat. It's just fairy tale, some demented cat made up to keep kittens on their best behavior."<br />
<br />
"Of course there's a Santa Cat, how could you possibly have forgotten." Yvette said patiently waiting for Dweezil to jump in and agree with her. There was something very odd going on here. Dweezil was looking very shifty and guilty and Squig looked as sad as he did angry. This was something she was going to get to the bottom of the minute she could corner Dweezil and demand an answer.<br />
<br />
<b>TO BE CONTINUED.</b><br />
<br />
<br /><br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-16049536320101401912013-12-08T09:57:00.000-08:002013-12-15T08:37:12.849-08:00Tis the Season - Part 1"Every ornament has it's correct spot and there is a definite order for decorating a tree," Dweezil commanded standing hands on hips as he surveyed his decorating troops. His mother, bless her lovely self looked like she was in complete agreement. Annie looked excited, but malleable. She could be taught the proper way to decorate. But Squigman as always looked on the verge of mutiny. If left unsupervised for ten seconds he would soon be hurling tinsel and wrapping himself in garlands as he hopped around the tree. He was already winking at Annie and pretending to toss a wad of tinsel over his shoulder.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Squigman," he barked. "How did that tinsel make it's way into this house. Year after year we have this discussion. There will be no tinsel on the tree. And if there were going to be tinsel, it would be silver tinsel not Ravens purple and black tinsel and before you even start, you can forget adding your collection of Ravens defensive lineman miniatures to the nativity scene and Ray Lewis is no longer a Raven and more importantly was not alive at the first Christmas, so his miniature will not be standing with the wise men."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Squig smiled and said, "Oh Dweezil what makes you think I'd do anything that cheesey? It would be sacrilegious to add my Raven's collection to the nativity scene, I'm hurt to think that you'd even think I'd do a thing like that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here," he added walking over to him and handing him the tinsel," I'm willing to do it your way this year."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dweezil was nervous. Something was up. This was completely unlike Squigman to give in this easily. But the tree had to be decorated, so with great misgivings he took the tinsel and began barking orders to the troops. It took several hours, but the tree was, as always magnificent. There was just one thing missing, he had yet to add his collection of angels from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But that was always the last thing and it didn't really matter where they were placed on the tree; so he felt free to leave and retrieve the cookies and hot chocolate they would enjoy while admiring his artistic seasonal creation.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Squigman, why don't you and Annabelle add my angels to the tree and mother why don't you come with me to get the cookies and hot chocolate?"<br />
</div>
<div>
They were only gone a few minutes, but when he entered the room he was so shocked that he dropped the tray full of cookies and stared at his tree in horror. His angels, his magnificent angels had been desecrated. Instead of their lovely heads and flowing gowns, each angel was now a member of the Ravens lineup. Worse yet, the statue of Ray Lewis wasn't standing with the wise men, he now had a halo, real feather wings,was wearing a dress and was parked on top of the tree.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dweezil felt sick, he felt faint, With eyes narrowed, ears flat back, he looked over at Squigman who was innocently poking at the fire with an andiron. "Squigman, he hissed. "I am going to kill you."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>TO BE CONTINUED</b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
</div>
Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-36852830419813674772013-11-30T14:11:00.002-08:002013-11-30T14:11:53.906-08:00Cleanliness is Next To..Don't Ask"Squigman, get in here right now." Dweezil commanded from the newly remodeled jack and jill bathroom. "Do you see this," he said pointing to the brand new self sifting cat box. "And do you see this," he continued pointing to the baseball bat in the corner. "If you do not use this, cat box correctly," he instructed, "I will be forced to smack you around with that bat.<br />
<br />
Squig was lounging against his bathroom door looking bored. Obviously more instruction was called for.<br />
<br />
"Allright," Dweezil said snarkily, "I will pretend I am you and show you how this box works.<br />
<br />
He shoved Squig out of the way and reentered the room looking bored and out of it. Scratching his butt and then under his arm he shuffled over to the box. Plopping himself down on the seat he said, "Here I am doing my morning cat business and now that I'm done what was it that Dweezil said to do, hmm.:<br />
<br />
A. Pull the lever and sift my nasty waste away.<br />
<br />
B. Leave it in a stinking pile for Dweezil to find.<br />
<br />
C. Forget that this box is self sifting and wreck it trying to cover things up.<br />
<br />
Gee this is really a hard question. Let me think. What would Dweezil do. Hmm, if I leave it in a stinking pile for Dweezil to find or wreck the box, Dweezil's going to hit my head with that bat. That might hurt, so I'd better push the lever. Now all I have to do is clean myself up and I can leave. Do you understand or should I make it simpler for you." he finished hopping off the box.<br />
<br />
Squig stood there in sullen silence.<br />
<br />
"OK, Squigman since I'm not getting a lot of response here, why don't you show me how it's done so that I know that you get it."<br />
<br />
Squig smiled cheerfully as a wonderfully Dweezily idea came to him. Scooting into Dweezil's new room, he opened the door with a great deal of flourish and theatrics. Flouncing over to the box, he sat down and moments later said with a smile as he waved his paws about, "Oh looky look what I have made. Whatever should I do with it. Sift it away or gild it and create something wonderful. Oh I know, I should collect it, gild it, stick a feather in it and paste it on a hat. Aren't I the cleaverest kitty in the litter. Oooh did I say litter, naughty, naughty me."<br />
<br />
And with that Dweezil pounced and began choking Squig while Squig got in a few good swipes. Their battle was interrupted by the shriek of a police whistle and Yvette, poking her head in the bathroom, said, "Since you boys have so much energy, you can come downstairs and help me make room for the Christmas tree.<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-20104115393069555332013-11-28T15:52:00.002-08:002013-11-28T15:52:34.143-08:00We Gather Together"I'll get that," Yvette called out in response to the ringing doorbell. The family was gathered in the kitchen putting the finishing touches to their Thanksgiving feast. Dweezil had created a masterpiece and was now supervising the ferrying of it from the kitchen to the dining room table.<br />
<br />
Yvette took several deeps breathes and crossed her claws for good luck as she made her way down the hall. Taking a deep breath and smiling broadly she opened the door and exclaimed, "Trixie, come in come in. Here let me help you with the pie," she continued taking the pie plate from the extremely nervous looking cat standing on her doorstep."<br />
<br />
"Miss Yvette," she whispered in a shaking voice. "It was really sweet of you to ask me to dinner, but it's not too late to change your mind."<br />
<br />
"I have no intention of changing my mind, and don't be nervous. You've met everybody already,"<br />
<br />
"That's what I'm worried about." she explained. "I don't think your son likes me too much. We didn't exactly meet under the best of circumstances."<br />
<br />
"Now you leave my son to me, and don't you worry about a thing. It will all be fine, you'll see. You know a wise older gentleman cat once told me that you can't help where you start, it's what you make of yourself that counts. And you are on your way to making something very nice out of yourself. So let's go into the dining room and join the rest of the family."<br />
<br />
"Look who's here," Yvette called out to the cats gathered around the table. "It's Trixie,"<br />
<br />
"Trixie, "Squig said happily.<br />
<br />
"Miss Trixie," Annie shrieked running over to give her a big hug.<br />
<br />
"Oh goodie," Dweezil said in a falsely benign tone, in response to his mother's be nice or die look., "It's Trixie. Our little party is now complete."<br />
<br />
"Sit here between Annie and me," Squig said pulling out the chair. And Yvette watched as she sat down.<br />
<br />
Taking her own place at the table, Yvette said quietly now before we eat, I would like everyone to join paws and take a moment to give thanks for our wonderful meal and to also give thanks for all the service cats in uniform who are far from home tonight. When they all looked up, she said I would like each of us to say what we are thankful for. I'll start and we can go around the table.<br />
<br />
Yvette: I'm thankful that I found my son and when I did I found this wonderful family and a home."<br />
<br />
Annie: " I'm thankful that instead of catching that mouse I caught you Dad and then I got Father and then Grandmom and now I've caught Trixie."<br />
<br />
Trixie:" I'm thankful that Squig found something in me that I'd forgotten was there and believed in me until I started believing in myself."<br />
<br />
Squig: "I'm thankful for you Dweezil. From the day Maia brought me home, you have been the best big brother a guy could have. And I'm thankful for you, Annie. You make me happy everyday. And Trixie, what can I say."<br /><br />
Dweezil: " I'm thankful for you, Squigman. You let me win when you could easily beat me and I know that. And no matter what I think up, you go along with me even when you know I'm being absurd. And Annabelle, you are the light of my life. And mother, I'm glad you're here, sitting at our table. And Trixie," deep sigh, "you are welcome at my table."<br />
<br />
And with that, the cats began to talk and laugh and enjoy their dinner.<br />
<br />
###############################<br />
<br />
I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am thankful for all of you come back every week to see what these guys are up to and I hope that this evening finds you surrounded by friends and family.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Maia</span><br />
<br />
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6733128449626531145.post-67389536501864703002013-11-24T12:22:00.001-08:002013-11-24T12:30:28.644-08:00The Winds of Change - Part 3Yvette spent a very instructive hour on the phone with the lady cat next door, the outcome of which was that Annabelle was invited to play with the kittens next door.<br />
<br />
Yvette walked quietly into her room and after waiting a moment, said sweetly, "Oh Annabelle, Cloe next door has invited you over to play with her kittens and I think it would only be nice for you to accept."<br />
<br />
"I can't Grandmom, " she replied looking up from her desk. "I can't leave the house until I've finished my 20,000 word essay on why fathers are always right and false advertising is against the law for a reason."<br />
<br />
"I think," Yvette replied walking over to her and closing her notebook, "your essay is finished. Now run along next door and play.<br />
<br />
It took Annie about two seconds to decide that playing with Brittany and Tiara next door beat out trying to think up another way of saying, "I was stupid and you were right," any way you wanted to put the two together and so she happily scampered down the stairs and out the front.<br />
<br />
Yvette waited with narrowing eyes and switching tail until she heard the front door shut and then like a lady cat on a mission she marched down the stairs and into the kitchen. Without giving him the opportunity to open his mouth in protest, she grabbed Dweezil by the ear and dragging him into the living room, shoved him onto the ornate and uncomfortable settee. Ordering him to stay put, she walked into the study, turned off the tv and grabbed Squig by the ear. Dragging him into the living room, she shoved him next to Dweezil.<br />
<br />
"I have been on a fact finding mission upstairs and I would just like to know what you two baboons have to say for yourself." She demanded staring them down.<br />
<br />
They both sat completely silent staring at their paws.<br />
<br />
"Oh," she continued in a hiss, "you think it's appropriate to make a small kitten sleep all by herself in that huge, hideous room?"<br />
<br />
"Now wait a minute, Mother Dweezil," Squig said highly offended. "I worked very hard to give her a pretty pink princess room."<br />
<br />
"That color is your idea of pretty?"<br />
<br />
"Well it's pink and it was on sale at the home store." he shot back in his own defense.<br />
<br />
"And you think it's appropriate for a small kitten to have to clean up your litter box waste?"<br />
<br />
Squig sank back in the settee, wishing he could crawl under it Damn, he been in a hurry this morning and hadn't covered up his business. Well he'd fix that as soon as this lemon squeeze was over.<br />
<br />
"Kittens," Yvette continued,"like to snuggle up at night. It makes them feel secure. And you, " she continued poking Squig in the chest, couldn't find a corner in your room for her? No wait, you couldn't find a corner in that hell hole of yours for an ant. A flea couldn't find an inch to call its own."<br />
<br />
"Stop smirking Dweezil," she said turning to face her son. You couldn't find a corner in that palace of yours for her?<br />
<br />
"Mother," he explained happily, it wouldn't be right. I'm a grown gentleman cat and she's a little girl. What ever are you suggesting?"<br />
<br />
"Don't make me add twisted and perverted to the growing list of unflattering adjectives I'm compiling about you." she said staring him down. It should satisfy you to know that Annabelle and I are moving into the Master Suite and you are moving into her old room.<br />
<br />
"Oh no your not," Dweezil squawked jumping up and waiving his paws in agitation.<br />
<br />
"Oh yes I am, " she answered pushing him back into settee. "In fact we have already moved in. Annabelle will be sharing my bed until the two of you have fixed hers."<br />
<br />
"I refuse to share a bathroom with that pig," Dweezil shrieked pointing at Squig.<br />
<br />
"Then I suggest you spend the rest of the afternoon constructing an outhouse for yourself, or going to the antique store and buying yourself a chamber pot." <br />
<br />
"Mother I spent a lot of time and money on that room and bathroom"<br />
<br />
"So go spend some time and money on your new room and bathroom. "And Squigman, she called over her shoulder as she walked out. You have one week to clean up that sty or I'm calling in the Health Department.<br />
Thanksgiving is less than a week and away and since we're having a guest over, I suggest the two of you get started."<br />
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<br />Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06829925970369556886noreply@blogger.com0