Dweezil took a deep breath and began again. "So when the daddy cat hears the mommy cat's lovely song, he comes over to pay her a visit. He smiles and introduces himself and then the mommy cat invites him into her home where they head straight to the kitchen."
"Then," Squig interrupts, "the daddy cat rubs up against the mommy cat.,"
Dweezil's ears go back.
"He extends one little claw and gently caresses her,
Dweezil's tail starts twitching.
"until she moans, oh master...."
Dweezil interrupting Squig in mid moan, wraps his paws around his neck and starts throttling him, then after whacking him a good one, knocks him off the chair, yelling, "You will stop this ridiculous rendition of 50 Shades of Gray, complete with Pepe le Pew phony French accent this minute. What is the matter with you. Have you no sense of decency. Now go and sit over there," he indicates a spot next to Maia's bookcase,"and keep your damn mouth shut."
"He said he wanted it to be romantic and what's more romantic than 50 Shades of Gray?" Squig grumbled as he slunk over to the bookcase and sat down.
"Now that we have that taken care of, we can continue, " Dweezil said wiping off his paws.
So the daddy cat goes over to the cupboards and gets out the ingredients and the mommy cat gets the mixing bowl and the muffin tin. Together they mix up the batter and fill six little muffin cups. Then the mommy cat gets out her oven mitts and puts the muffin tin in the oven. The daddy cat seeing that all the little buns are safely in the oven, leaves.."
"Completely frustrated and totally confused," Squig interjects from his spot near the bookcase.
"While the mommy cat decorates her little nesting box with adorable soft cloths featuring tiny bunnies and baby mice. Then she curls up to wait.
But she doesn't have to wait long. Because soon the timer goes off. So she puts back on her oven mitts and takes out her muffin tin filled with precious little kittens. Lovingly, she carries each one to the nesting box and once they are all safely in, she purrs them to sleep with her special lullaby.
And that my little friend are where kittens come from." Dweezil finishes, smiling up at the camera.
"All that I can say about that stupid explanation," Squig grumbles to himself, "is that it really is obvious that someone certainly did have the 'procedure' at a very early age and should probably go talk to a mental health professional about it.