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Sunday, June 23, 2013

And Then There Were Three Part 1

Squig could sense the mouse.  He followed it with a type of prey sensing radar hardwired into the brain of each and every cat.  Quietly, he tracked it's movements. Silently, he followed it, never taking his senses off it for one minute. And thenl he was close enough.  Coiling himself up, he sprang, landing, as expected on the mouse and bumping into something small, white, fluffy and furious.  That was not expected.

"That's  my mouse," it squeaked. "I caughtted it, now give it to me!"

Squig sat back, taking his time, while inwardly chuckling as he watched the show in front of  him. "Well, he began, "if this is your mouse, why do I have it?"

"You have my mouse," It said, laying its tiny ears back and puffing itself up to the size of a respectable snowball, 'because I caughtted it and you stoled it. Now give it to me!"

"OK, OK, let's calm down here" Squig reasoned, "We can find a solution to this problem. Let's suppose I do give this mouse to you.  What are you going to do with it?"

"Why, I would rip it to pieces and gobble it down." The kitten replied marching around in attempt to look very scary and ferocious.

"Hmm," Squig said thoughtfully, "and just how many mice have you eaten in the past month, twenty"

It shook its little head no.

"Ten, no. How about five, no.  What about two.  Have you ripped two mice to pieces and gobbled them down?"

No again.

"Well if you haven't ripped any mice to pieces and gobbled them down, how about birds, no, squirrels, no, rabbits or rats? What about bugs?  Have you torn any bugs to pieces?

"No, bugs are gross!"

"Well then what do you eat?

"I eat my special kitten food in my special pink kitten bowl."

"OK, so here's what we're going to do." Squig laughed, lifting one paw and planting it firmly on the kittens back, holding it down while lifting the other paw to free the mouse. "We're going to let this mouse go and then I 'm going to walk you home, so you can eat some of your special kitten food in your special pink kitten bowl."

"No," it said miserably.  You can't walk me home.  I don't have a home."

"Everybody has a home," Squig replied kindly, and I'll bet you'll recognize it the minute you see it.  I also bet your humans are out looking for you right this minute. They're probably really worried, so let's get going."

"No they're not.  They dropped me off in this field this morning and told me I had to live here now.  Then they drove away."

Squig was shocked.  This was a development he had not foreseen and it troubled him, greatly.


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

And Now a Word From Their Sponsor

Hi all, not to worry.  The boys will be back. As we speak, they're cooking up all sorts of mayhem and God only knows what they'll be getting into.

The reason why they've been absent, is that I have been crazy busy.  Work is intense. I've had a few photo jobs and Kitt has sweet itch.  Now before all of you XXX'rs get all worked up.  Sweet itch is not a feminine hygiene problem, nor is it my good idea for a porno film.  It's an equine skin condition.  Kitt is allergic to gnats and since we've been having a wet spring, her coat is a mess.  So, every evening after work and twice on the weekends, I go out to the barn to treat it.  Forget riding her, until this issue clears up, my equine activities revolve around spraying calm coat, treating her raw areas with antibiotic, anti fungal creams and then rubbing in the fly spray.

It seems that Kitt isn't the only horse with this lovely condition.  A friend of mine's Arabian has it so badly that she went and invested in a fly coat.  That worked for about a half an hour and then Glory rolled and ripped it to pieces. So she's back to the daily routine.  Question, do you guys out west have this issue, or are you living in a gnatless paradise, in which case I hate you. Just kidding.

Oh yes, the other thing I've been up to is going to graduation parties.  Would someone like to tell me when did the thank you note go extinct.  Back in the early neolithic when I graduated from high school, if one of my parent's friends had written  me a check and enclosed it in a card with a cute picture of  yours truly on the front of it; after I fainted from shock, I would have written a thank you note.  Because I would have gone nowhere or done nothing until I did.

Stay tuned.  They will be back