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Sunday, August 11, 2013

M. Dweezil's Ecole de Charme - Part 2

"You traitorous snake," Dweezil hissed, "you wouldn't dare."

"Oh wouldn't I, Squig hissed back.  "And as far as being a snake, you bet I am.  I'm the great big boa constrictor hiding in the tree waiting for your fat weasely butt to come by and then I'm going to drop down on you and start, choking."

And with that the fight began in earnest.

"Daddies!," Annie screamed running up to them.  Stop that right now.

"Daddies?" Squig thought in  mid choke.

Daddies?" Dweezil thought in mid chomp.

"Daddies!" they said in unison, turning their heads to stare straight at Annie in shocked disbelieve.

"Yes, daddies," Annie remarked, primly.  It makes kittens upset to see their daddies fight.  Now shake paws and say you're sorry."

Squig spit out the words first, without feeling any remorse at all.  He was followed by Dweezil, who muttered something about traitorous snakes under his breath.

"That doesn't sound like an I'm sorry to me." Annie admonished.  You try it again. Now shake paws and say you're sorry.

"I'm sorry," they both said slowly and shook paws with a decided lack of enthusiasm.

Retrieving his beret and turning to face the camera, which he sincerelty hoped had not been filming this entire time, said, "Well now that we have seen the Dweezil don't of table manners, let's turn our attention to the Dweezil Do, featuring, you guessed it, me."

"Why am I not surprised," Squig said under his breath, garnishing him a stick eye from Annie.

"Now said Dweezil, notice how I am patiently waiting for the food to come to me.  See the lack of interest I am displaying, as if food is the last thing on my mind.  Once it has been placed in my bowl and set near me and only after several seconds of my human telling me how wonderful it is and begging me to eat, do I slowly walk up to the bowl. Now I sniff the entree, taking in the bouquet. Ah, I believe it was chicken and tomato. Next I take a sip of the broth and savor the flavors.  And finally when each of  these steps has been completed, do I condensed to take the first bite.  Hmm, delicious I seem to be saying.

And smiling into the camera, Dweezil purrs happily, "Bon Apetite."


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