A Rose By Any Other Name...Or Whatever

Hmm. Dweezil cleared his throat in order to get Annie's attention.  Good child that she was, she was hard at work studying,"Mousing 101."

"Hmm.hmm, hmm," Dweezil tried again, a little louder and a whole lot more strident.

"Yes, Daddy Dweezil," Annie asked looking up from her book.

"Well, " he began, sitting down and wrapping his tail around  his legs, "Since your father, Squigman, and I have basically adopted you, I was thinking that maybe we should do something about your name."

"But I like my name," she protested. "It's my name and I like it."

"Now, now, " Dweezil continued pointing a claw in her direction. " Don't make a decision until you've heard my suggestion. What would you say to us changing your name to Lady Annabelle of Inwood?  Doesn't that have a lovely, phonetic ring to it?"

"Not as lovely and phonetic as Annie Igmewkowski," Squig interjected walking into the room.  Annie Igmewkowski, now that's what I call a name."

"Yes," Dweezil said snarkily, "Annie Igmewkowski is certainly what someone like you would call a name."

"Well what's wrong with it?"

"Igmewkowski is a very lowww and common name.  I wouldn't hesitate to say," he continued, closely examining his claws, "that you could search the whole world over and never find a noble anything, named Igmewkowski."

"At least I have a last name,"Squig hissed, laying back his ears, "Sir Dweezil of the barnyard."

"Oh yes," Dweezil hissed right back, coming face to face with Squig, "You couldn't even find an earthworm or an amoeba willing to be called Igmewkowski. That name is so low class."

"So says Sir Dweezil of the poop pile."

"Why you miserable little rodent."

"What, I'm no longer the traitorous snake?  Having trouble coming up with adjectives to describe me?" Squig answered pleasantly.  I can certainly describe you.  You're a a big fat phony."

"Daddies," Annie squeaked, not realizing they were a wonderful time  Stop fighting this instant. "  It was no good.  She was outnumbered.  How could one small girl kitten keep two gentlemen cats in line.  She needed help.  She needed an ally.  She needed a lady cat.