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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Tis the Season - Part 1

"Every ornament has it's correct spot and there is a definite order for decorating a tree," Dweezil commanded standing hands on hips as he surveyed his decorating troops.  His mother, bless her lovely self looked like she was in complete agreement.  Annie looked excited, but malleable.  She could be taught the proper way to decorate. But Squigman as always looked on the verge of mutiny. If left unsupervised for ten seconds he would soon be hurling tinsel and wrapping himself in garlands as he hopped around the tree. He was already winking at Annie and pretending to toss a wad of tinsel over his shoulder.

"Squigman," he barked.  "How did that tinsel make it's way into this house. Year after year we have this discussion.  There will be no tinsel on the tree. And if there were going to be tinsel, it would be silver tinsel not Ravens purple and black tinsel and before you even start, you can forget adding your collection of Ravens defensive lineman miniatures to the nativity scene and Ray Lewis is no longer a Raven and more importantly was not alive at the first Christmas, so his miniature will not be standing with the wise men."

Squig smiled and said, "Oh Dweezil what makes you think I'd do anything that cheesey?  It would be sacrilegious to add my Raven's collection to the nativity scene, I'm hurt to think that you'd even think I'd do a thing like that.

Here," he added walking over to him and handing him the tinsel," I'm willing to do it your way this year."

Dweezil was nervous. Something was up.  This was completely unlike Squigman to give in this easily. But the tree had to be decorated, so with great misgivings he took the tinsel and began barking orders to the troops. It took several hours, but the tree was, as always magnificent.  There was just one thing missing, he had yet to add his collection of angels from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But that was always the last thing and it didn't really matter where they were placed on the tree; so he felt free to leave and retrieve the cookies and hot chocolate they would enjoy while admiring his artistic seasonal creation.

"Squigman, why don't you and Annabelle add my angels to the tree and mother why don't you come with me to get the cookies and hot chocolate?"
They were only gone a few minutes, but when he entered the room he was so shocked that he dropped the tray full of cookies and stared at his tree in horror.  His angels, his magnificent angels had been desecrated. Instead of their lovely heads and flowing gowns, each angel was now a member of the Ravens lineup. Worse yet, the statue of Ray Lewis wasn't standing with the wise men, he  now had a halo, real feather wings,was wearing a dress and was parked on top of the tree.

Dweezil felt sick, he felt faint, With eyes narrowed, ears flat back, he looked over at Squigman who was innocently poking at the fire with an andiron. "Squigman, he hissed. "I am going to kill you."


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