As if on cue, Annie looked up from her book and saw her daddies standing in the doorway. At least she thought they were her daddies. One definitely was. One was definitely Daddy Dweezil, but the other? "OMG," she thought to herself as she stuffed her paw into her mouth to keep from having hysterics. The cat with the purple pompadour on the top of his head and the fried whiskers, had to be her Daddy Squig. What on earth had he done to himself.
"Oh Annabelle," Daddy Dweezil said dragging Daddy Squig into the room. "Your father, Squigman and I have had discussed your Lady Cat suggestion in a dignified and rational manner and have decided that things are fine just the way they are."
Annie noticed that Daddy Squig was clenching and unclenching his claws while Daddy Dweezil had been speaking. Were his claws actually painted? Her jaw dropped while she watched him.
"And so, " Daddy Dweezil continued, we do not need to find a Lady Cat border."
"But what if I have an embarrassing question? Who's going to sit me down and answer my questions?" she asked innocently.
"Why, your Father Squigman will be happy to answer any question you may have." Dweezil said benignly smiling over at Squig. He's just full of all sorts of helpful information."
"Me," Squig shrieked, "Why do I have the answers to embarrassing questions? Weren't you the one with that story about all the little muffins in the tin?"
"Because you, " Dweezil answered airily, always have something to say about everything."
"If you will recall," Squig shot back punctuating each word with a jab to Dweezil's chest. "At the time you told me that I was as subtle as a game show host looking for a four letter word for procreation, first letter f and it rhymes with luck."
"That's right take the low road," Dweezil sneered, crossing his paws in front of his chest. "The low and common road."
"I'll show you the low road." Squig hissed and I'm going to kick you butt down every inch of it."
Annie stopped trying to figure out what a four letter word for procreation was and decided that if plan A was not going to work, she was going to be forced to put alternate plan B into action. So later that evening, after her daddies had left for the night, she crept into the study and went to the computer. Turning it on and clicking on the caternet icon, she went straight to Louis' List and placed the following ad under the Personals Heading.
Lady Cat wanted. Must be able to discipline, while being very nice to two grumpy Gentlemen Cats. For the right Lady Cat, this will be a very easy job and you will make lots of money. Oh yes, she should also be able to show a Girl Kitten how the job is done.
Satisfied with her ad, Annie clicked on send, turned off the computer and went to bed, confident that help was on the way.