The lady cat at the front door wasn't exactly what Annie had in mind when she placed the add. She was grey and slinky and carried a small suitcase.
"Hi doll," she rasped in a voice that echoed too many late nights. "You're a little young to be getting started, but then I wasn't a whole lot older than you when I entered the trade," she commented dryly,entering the front hall and looking around, "So, she continued, just where are these big bad gentleman cats?"
As if on cue, Squig entered the hall and stopped dead in his tracks as he looked the lady cat up and down. "So," he smiled, "just who do we have here."
"If you want to turn your pain into pleasure, Domonatrixie is the name to remember," the lady purred, pulling some kind of whippie thingy and a pair of handcuffs out of her suitcase. Smacking the whippie thingy against her leg and circling her head with the handcuffs, she slithered over to Squig and proceeded to wrap herself around him like a boa constrictor.
Squig's eyes bulged out as she tightened her grip, until finally finally he started squawking, "Dweeze, Dweeze, I need you, in the hall, NOW"
A few seconds late, Dweezil, none too pleased at being interrupted from his baking, walked in. First he stood quietly, taking in the disgusting display in its entirety and then stated calmly, "Madame unhand Squigman this minute."
"Her name in Domanatrixie," Annie volunteered, helpfully.
"And you know this, how?"
"Because if you want to turn your pain into pleasure, Domanatrixie is the name to remember," she chirped happily.
Dweezil looking like he could chew nails, stomped over to the pair and without further ado pealed Domantrixie off of Sqig. "Madame," he growled, put away your accouterments and remove yourself from the premises."
"Well, you needed be so huffy, Fat Boy, " Domanatrixie shot back."After all you advertised for me."
"I did no such thing!"
"Want to bet Fatso," she continued walking over to her suitcase and removing a torn piece of paper, "Lady cat wanted to discipline, while at the same time being very nice to two gentleman cats." she read narrowing her eyes and staring straight a him. "For the right lady cat this will be a very easy job and you will make a lot of money. Oh yes, you should also be able to show a small girl kitten how the job is done."
"Squigman," Dweezil roared, "knowing full well we have an innocent little kitten living with us, why did you place an advertisement (pronounced with a soft i) for a hooker?"
"Well if you didn't and I certainly didn't who.." and he didn't have to finish that thought. Because all of a sudden he knew.
"Annabelle, explain yourself," he commanded.
"Well," she stammered, wringing her paws, "I just thought that once you met the lady cat, you'd like her and you two would stop arguing all the time and we could have a real home."
"Ahh, the lady cat said looking somehow softer and less threatening, "those two baboons weren't looking for a good time you were looking for a mom, am I right?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Trixie," Annie said softly nodding her head in the affirmative.
"So am I kiddo, " she answered kissing the top of her head, "so am I."
"I want the small female cat to go to her room this instant and I want the large female cat to crawl back under whatever rock she crawled out of and leave here at once " Dweezil commanded pointing to the door.
"Dweeze, this was just a mistake and I'm sure there was no real harm done," Squig chuckled as he picked up Trixie's suitcase and helped her out the door.
"You know, "he whispered, hoping that Dweezil couldn't hear "You really had me going there for
a few minutes, but now that we know it was all a mistake, maybe sometime if you're free we could?"
"Here's my card," she smiled call me anytime.
"I might just do that," he answered shutting the door.
"Squigman," Dweezil pronounced, heading back to the kitchen, "I heard that.
"Oh Fat Boy, eavesdropping were you" Squig chuckled, "This is really pretty funny if you think about it. I don't think we should be too hard on Annie, since it was just one lady cat and no real harm was done."
In the weeks to come, Squig was to find out just wrong he was on both accounts.
TO BE CONTINUED