Yvette spent a very instructive hour on the phone with the lady cat next door, the outcome of which was that Annabelle was invited to play with the kittens next door.
Yvette walked quietly into her room and after waiting a moment, said sweetly, "Oh Annabelle, Cloe next door has invited you over to play with her kittens and I think it would only be nice for you to accept."
"I can't Grandmom, " she replied looking up from her desk. "I can't leave the house until I've finished my 20,000 word essay on why fathers are always right and false advertising is against the law for a reason."
"I think," Yvette replied walking over to her and closing her notebook, "your essay is finished. Now run along next door and play.
It took Annie about two seconds to decide that playing with Brittany and Tiara next door beat out trying to think up another way of saying, "I was stupid and you were right," any way you wanted to put the two together and so she happily scampered down the stairs and out the front.
Yvette waited with narrowing eyes and switching tail until she heard the front door shut and then like a lady cat on a mission she marched down the stairs and into the kitchen. Without giving him the opportunity to open his mouth in protest, she grabbed Dweezil by the ear and dragging him into the living room, shoved him onto the ornate and uncomfortable settee. Ordering him to stay put, she walked into the study, turned off the tv and grabbed Squig by the ear. Dragging him into the living room, she shoved him next to Dweezil.
"I have been on a fact finding mission upstairs and I would just like to know what you two baboons have to say for yourself." She demanded staring them down.
They both sat completely silent staring at their paws.
"Oh," she continued in a hiss, "you think it's appropriate to make a small kitten sleep all by herself in that huge, hideous room?"
"Now wait a minute, Mother Dweezil," Squig said highly offended. "I worked very hard to give her a pretty pink princess room."
"That color is your idea of pretty?"
"Well it's pink and it was on sale at the home store." he shot back in his own defense.
"And you think it's appropriate for a small kitten to have to clean up your litter box waste?"
Squig sank back in the settee, wishing he could crawl under it Damn, he been in a hurry this morning and hadn't covered up his business. Well he'd fix that as soon as this lemon squeeze was over.
"Kittens," Yvette continued,"like to snuggle up at night. It makes them feel secure. And you, " she continued poking Squig in the chest, couldn't find a corner in your room for her? No wait, you couldn't find a corner in that hell hole of yours for an ant. A flea couldn't find an inch to call its own."
"Stop smirking Dweezil," she said turning to face her son. You couldn't find a corner in that palace of yours for her?
"Mother," he explained happily, it wouldn't be right. I'm a grown gentleman cat and she's a little girl. What ever are you suggesting?"
"Don't make me add twisted and perverted to the growing list of unflattering adjectives I'm compiling about you." she said staring him down. It should satisfy you to know that Annabelle and I are moving into the Master Suite and you are moving into her old room.
"Oh no your not," Dweezil squawked jumping up and waiving his paws in agitation.
"Oh yes I am, " she answered pushing him back into settee. "In fact we have already moved in. Annabelle will be sharing my bed until the two of you have fixed hers."
"I refuse to share a bathroom with that pig," Dweezil shrieked pointing at Squig.
"Then I suggest you spend the rest of the afternoon constructing an outhouse for yourself, or going to the antique store and buying yourself a chamber pot."
"Mother I spent a lot of time and money on that room and bathroom"
"So go spend some time and money on your new room and bathroom. "And Squigman, she called over her shoulder as she walked out. You have one week to clean up that sty or I'm calling in the Health Department.
Thanksgiving is less than a week and away and since we're having a guest over, I suggest the two of you get started."