First of all, the firings are over and I'm still employed. YEAH. Second, the looks of this blog are going to be fixed this weekend, or those of you on the west coast will be able to hear me shriek.
Alright, as a wedding photographer, I've seen it all. So here are my hints on how to look good in pictures that are taken of you.
1. Always and I mean always wear pantyhose or shapewear to a function where there will be a photographer. I can hear the protesting from my office in Maryland, so first I'll deal with group one. Group one consists of the "I don't look like a 19 year old stick insect with breast implants so it doesn't matter what I wear, I'm always going to look the same." WRONG. Without control top pantyhose or shapewear, you're going to look like a lumpy sack of potatoes, or worse yet a lumpy sack of jiggling, wiggling pudding.
Then there's group two. Group two consists of the "I ride, workout, run, ect, ect everyday and I have a body like a rock, so I don't need those things." OK, here's what we're going to see on your rock hard body, visible panty, thong, or God forbid all together lines. You have no idea how adorable a dress/skirt looks bunched up in your patoot, and trust me, if you are not the bride, hostess, or event chair, the photographer will not take the time to clone it out.
Remember, a few hours of being mildly uncomfortable is preferable to years of being embarrassed whenever you have to look at that picture.
2. If everytime you laugh hysterically, whatever you're drinking comes out of your nose, or you have a migraine. feel sick, had a fight with your date/husband/ significant other, or generally are in a bad mood; do not position yourself anywhere near the bride, hostess, or event chair, because when the picture is shot, there you'll be clearly visible in the background looking ridiculous or just plain God awful.
3. Wear makeup. The camera washes you out. If you normally don't, do it anyway. A little lipgloss, blush and mascara will make you look 100 times better, younger and more refreshed. Trust me on this. Putting a little paint on your face, does not mean you are not a bright competent woman.
4. The mistake that most people make when they know they're having their picture taken is to squinch up their eyes and tighten their mouths. This action makes you look like you're about to be sick or you're a really mean person. Open your eyes and relax your mouth. Think to yourself, you know a delicious secret about the photographer and then smile.
So there you have my best advice. Hopefully, by Tuesday the blog will look good again,