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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Heavens to Mergatroid It Was A Day on Howard Street

Well, yesterday I said nothing much had happened.  Well... today made up for that in spades.

First up we have a young man who obviously forgot to use the restroom before starting out on his morning's activities.  Oh but why worry when there's a convenient parking lot right off Howard Street.  So didn't he unzip his pants and start to take them off as he proceeded down the sidewalk.  Now gentle readers, I know that I am your official Howard Street observer, but there some things that even I don't care to observe; and bodily functions are right up there at the top of my list.  But not so for one of the younger staff members who shrieked, eww, OMG he's doing a number which rhymes with ewe. This should have been the tip off that we were in for one of those days.

Next up was the domestic dispute. A man and a woman were walking down the sidewalk in the middle of some kind of altercation. He was loudly shouting at her and punching her in the arm for emphasis.  She, on the other hand was saying nothing, just walking with her head down.  Suddenly, she stopped, hauled off and decked him. Decked him to the point that he fell to the sidewalk. She then proceeded to give him a few swift kicks, before walking away. And all of this was accomplished without her saying a word.  I guess silence is golden, as in the golden glove boxing championship.

They say good things happen in threes. Well so do weirdos.  Last but certainly not least we had an elderly gentleman out for his afternoon constitutional.  He was nattily attired in an open hospital gown and booties. He was smoking a cigarette and pushing himself backwards in his wheelchair down the middle of the street.

Does life get any more interesting.  Stay tuned, something's bound to happen,


  1. Is Howard street in a major metropolitan area by chance?

  2. As a matter of fact it is. It is a main thoroughfare through downtown Baltimore. We are talking about maybe doing a coffee table book. Hey why not.

    And yes all of it was just lovely. We have a new executive secretary who comes to collect the mail. She walked into our office yesterday and asked, "what's up with this street? Is there some sign that we can't see that sais only degenerate, disgusting deadbeats are welcome here?" You never know