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Sunday, March 3, 2013

It Hits the Fan Part 2

"Hi cats," Jolie called out trotting up to the boys, and then stopping in mid stride as she caught a glimpse of the new blog design, said "Holy cramolie, which one of you did this?"

"He did," Squig answered looking over at Dweezil with a decided stink eye.

Jolie coming closer to the newly altered sidebar, began to read aloud.

"Featuring Sir Dweezil, that's a nice picture Dweeze.  With appearances by his wingman, Sqig.  Dweeze, Squig isn't a bird or a human, he's a cat. So, he can't be a wingman now can he?"

She thought for a few seconds and then said, "he could be your claw cat or cackle, chuckle, snort, your paw pal."

Dweezil and Squig rolled their eyes and simultaneously sighed.

"And what's this," she continued, getting more agitated by the nanosecond, "and unfortunately also, the lovely BUT ANNOYING JOLIE.

Who says I'm annoying" she demanded. "I want to know right now, who said I'm annoying."

"He did," Sqig replied, extending a claw in Dweezil's direction.

"I am not annoying," Jolie shrieked as she stomped over to Dweezil. Everyone knows I'm wonderful. You have to be the only one on the planet who thinks I'm annoying.  And the only reason you do is because, you are peculiar."

"Pope Dweezil the peculiar," Squig pondered the idea and then discarded it.

"And the other thing that's way wrong with my piece of your slimy pie, is that picture. That's one of my baby pictures.  Why didn't you put up one of me now, wearing this cute outfit.

"If ," Dweezil answered, "you happen to be referring to that disgusting filthy rag currently covering your body, you might want to rethink that request."

"This is not a disgusting, filthy rag.  This is a cute outfit and I'm wearing it because I'm special."

"No," Dweezil responded, smiling up at her nastily,"you are not wearing that rag because you are special.  You are wearing it, because at present, you hiney is hairless."

"My what is what!"

"Your hiney is hairless," he replied patiently and then for clarification purposes continued with, "Yes, your hiney is hairless. Your patoot is pale. And your buttocks are bare." (a small aside, Dweezil being Dweezil pronounced the word buttocks with a hard b, a hard u and then tocks.)

"I don't know what a buttocks (pronounced the same way) is, but if I have one, it's beautiful."

"Yes you do and no it's not.  It's bare"

"It's beautiful."

"It's bare."

Jolie, reaching her neck down so that she was face to face with Dweezil, layed her ears flat back and hissed, "Listen up cat, my buttocks is beautiful":

Dweezil laying his ears flat back and puffing himself up to twice his size, hissed right back, "No it's not, it's bare.  And that missy, is the end of that."

"Oh no it's not cat.  It's just the beginning,"


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