Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Program Week 3

I skipped a week, sorry about that.  Now on to the next step,  I hope all of you are eating your three meals a day and taking your time while your eating,  Now on to the next step,  Those three meals are all you are going to eat.  Now I know that most of the weight loss programs out there encourage you to eat several healthy snacks a day, why aren't I?  Because I happen to know how fast that apple or celery sticks can turn into an entire bag of chips or a dozen chocolate chip cookies.  So no more snacks.  If you get hungry, I'm going to introduce you to a thin person's best friend, Tums. Tums are calcium which we could all use a lot of and they take away hunger. Hunger, unless you're living in a third world country and your starving, is mostly an over acid stomach.  So take two Tums and anticipate your wonderful next meal. That's all there is to it,

Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Program Week 2

Now I'm sure that you all have been eating three meals a day, right? Now that wasn't too hard was it? This week, I'm going to add something to that.  I want you to take at least a half an hour to eat each meal.  Why, because most people who are heavy are mindlessly and quickly shoving down the food  I know I did.  You are eating so quickly that you don't even have time to taste what your putting in your mouth.  And that's a problem.

When you start to slow down the meals, you are going to really, maybe for the first time, in a long time, taste what you are eating. Does all that grease and fat really taste good? I don't think so.  So this week I want you to really taste your food. You can do it.  And while your at it, make a list of what you like, when you really taste it and what you can do without.

How hard is this?  Now I've heard that some southern university has published a study that says if you count how many times you chew and you only chew 1000 times, you are guaranteed to lose weight.  Well who in their right mind has time to count how many times they chew their food?  Just slow it down and you'll do fine.


Oh yes, if  any of you want to see how Dweezil and Squig are doing out west, head on over to:

www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com

Maia's No Fail Weight Loss Plan Week 1

Since I lost the 35 pounds and have kept it off for a year now, I am constantly being asked, how did you do that.  So i have decided to give you my step by step no fail weight loss plan. Now I know that most horse people are already thin.  So for those of you who are not horse people, let me clue you, the horse isn't the only one getting exercise here.

So what are you going to do this week, to propel you on the course for a thin new you.  You are going to eat three meals a day.  That's what you are going do.  I don't care what those meals are, but there are going to be three of them.

I can here that muttering, "Oh Miss Maia, it's so easy for  you to eat three meals a day, you don't have my high stress job, hideous commute, never ending chore list.  I don't have time to eat three meals a day."

Well get over it.  I have all of the above and if I can, you can too.  Did say what those meals had to be?  Nope, I'm leaving that up to you.  If you want to drive to work eating a McGriddle and tater tots, washed down with a Mocha Latte, it's entirely up to you.

There is some science behind the three meals a day rule.  When you skip meals, your body goes into starvation mode and super utilizes every calorie you take in. This makes it almost impossible to lose any weight.

So take a nice long look at yourself in the mirror and if you think you could stand to lose a few, find a way to eat those three meals

PS:  Remember, I don't care what those meals are, if you hate breakfast foods, eat something you like in the morning,  This diet isn't about deprivation and feeling miserable.  It's about looking and feeling fantastic.

Something New at Welcome to Katz City

Head on over to Welcome to Katz City for a three part episode in which Sheriff Squig, with the "help" of Deputy Harlan attempts to evict the hookers from the Katz City Cafe.

http.welcometokatzcity.blogspot,com

New Post at Katz City

www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com

Where Have All the Bloggers

OK guys, so like where are you!  You know people who regularly read your blogs tend to worry if they don't see you in a while.  You leave us with unanswered question.  So here we go.

1  Alright Darcy, I know you're alive because you commented.  What's the latest with your farm.  Did you get it up and running?

2.  California Cowgirl.  How's your showing.  How's your new horse working?  Did your daughter get that camel?  What's new.

3.  Life on the Rough Strings, your photos are superb, but what's going on with you and your dogs, horses, life.

4.  Deniserata, two years and not one word.  You better be fine and dandy.

And the rest of you, I know it's a pain, but your lives are not boring and I miss you.

Up to my knees in mud.

Jolie's Going to Camp

When friends ask, "so where are you going on vacation this year? I am forced to say, "nowhere, Jolie's going to camp."  She's three this year and is going to trained to ride.  Well that's the plan.  I'm calling the trainer tomorrow and see when we can schedule her.  I wanted to do it in April, but this winter, and now spring has been so annoying, I decided to wait until I was sure we would have decent weather.  Well it's going to snow again this week.  One day it's 70 and two days later it snows.  The mud seems to dry out and then we have two days of downpours and it's back again.  So, I decided, if I wait until I'm sure the snow is over, it will be July and then it will be 100 degrees, with 100% humidity and code red air.  So, I'll keep you posted on when she goes and how the training is going,

Since the link to my other blog doesn't seem to want to work, here it is: www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com

It's Been A Year

Well what do you know.  It's been a year since I stepped back and let the cat's take over. Now why on earth would I do that.  Well, for one thing, thinking up things for them to do is fun.  I don't know what that says about me.  But it is fun.  When I'm stuck in traffic on the beltway, instead of fuming I start planning a new adventure for them, or a new character comes to me and I start laughing. I guess I'm channeling my inner twelve year old.  Anyway it's also been a year since a series of unfortunate events led to me losing 35 yes 35 pounds.

Here's what happened.  It's also my birthday, so last year for my birthday,  I decided to buy some new clothes. I called a local store, told them my size and could hardly wait to see what the personal shopper selected.  Well when I got there, none of the clothes fit.  I had gone up a size.  Now I don't want you to think, I was fuming because I'd gone from a size zero to a 1 and 1/2.  Not hardly. I was now in an extra large and you can guess the size number because I'm not telling.

Well I figured that they were cutting the clothes smaller in an effort to cheap out. So I just went up a size, after all it's not about the size, it's about the fit.  Right.

So on to the doctor, where guess what, my blood pressure was up.  It was Saturday and they didn't make me step on the scale.  That was obviously all about my allergy medicine.  So the doctor switched my allergy medicine, the fact that I was wearing gicantor jeans had nothing to do with it.

Now we are up to my best friends birthday party on a wonderful brunch cruise.  So of course our jolly group decided to have our picture taken.  And when I looked at it, there staring me in the face was the truth. Somehow I had gotten FAT. Not plump, not chubby, FAT. I was shocked and determined to know the truth.  So the very next day which was a Monday, I weighed myself on the hospital scale and almost passed out.  I had to weigh myself twice, because I couldn't believe what the scale was showing.  And right then and there I determined to do something about this.

The first thing I decided was I was not going on a diet, because I don't think diets work.  In my opinion, here's why diets don't work.  You starve yourself until you've lost a few and then you don't have to diet and back up the scale you go. Nope I was going to change the way I eat and the amount I eat. And I told myself I was going to be hungry until I got used to it, but I was just going to be hungry and I did it.

The weight came off.  I eat everything, but just not as much. That's all there is to it. What's been interesting is that I can now really taste the food and I actually love what I'm eating.  And it takes me longer to eat the smaller portions than it did to shovel down the linebacker meals, who knew.

Oh yes, my polar vortex update.  Yesterday it was sunny and seventy. It's been windy, so the mud is drying out.  But we can't have that oh no.  So today and tomorrow its going to snow.  Lovely, just lovely.

To see what's going on in Katz City, check out welcometokatzity.blogspot.com

And Now a Word From Their Sponsor

While part of the gang is packing up and Squig is enjoying his cross country trip.  I thought I say a few words about what's going on here in the great white south.

Hello Al Gore, I thought we were supposed to be having global warming.  I thought Maryland was supposed to feel like North Carolina, instead it feels like the North Pole. Here are two words I would like to have erased from the English Language, "Polar Vortex."  This winter has been miserable, it's been cold, snowy, icy and just down right lousy.  Oh yes, we have had a few unusually warm days and do you want to know what that does?  It melts the snow fast, so for a day or two we have mud that's the consistency of soup and then the temperature drops quickly and we have icy mud.  Icy mud that's covered in a nice layer of snow.  Riding, who can ride?  I haven't been riding since December when this whole mess started.  Why, when it's warm enough to ride, the mud is as slippery as glass and the rest of the time, there's the ice underneath the snow which  makes riding impossible.  Do you know it's been warmer in Durango than it has been here.

Oh yes, the deer.  When it first started getting cold this little family of four deer would come to the edge of the property and the doe would stare up at my house.  After awhile I figured, she must have been one of the fawns I fed in 2010.   So when it got bitterly cold and there was nothing for them to eat, I started feeding them again.  How much trouble would it be to feed four deer.  Well it wasn't too long before they picked up two orphan fawns.  Six deer, that's not too bad.  Then two more joined and it was eight deer and as the winter progressed, they told all of their friends and extended family about the all you can eat buffet and  it was twelve deer.  Well those twelve told twelve more and I was feeding twenty four deer.  During last Monday's snowy mess, I counted thirty deer.  This is getting out of hand.  Thirty deer!  Several of my neighbors are joining in feeding them, but still.

Let's see what else can I complain about.  I've relearned how to drive on snow and steer through a skid. They say this spring is going to be colder than ever.  If that happens I am going to turn into a real contrarian. The light is great though.  It's getting stronger and brighter every day.  Maybe soon, but in the meantime, I have more mud to pick out hooves, hungry deer and horses who have had it.  So here I sit, longing for spring.

Bye.

PS:  If you think Harlan is done go over to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com to see what more trouble he can cause.

Moving On - Part 1

Dweezil stood with Squig in the train station.  "Now  you remember what you're going to do and you have everything you need," he asked.

"Yes, Dweeze.  I have all of my tickets.  I'm changing trains in Chicago and Denver and arriving at Katz City at 3:00.  Ms. Katz will be at the station to meet me.  I'm going to go with her to the cafe.  Once I'm there, I'm going to snoop around and call you." He repeated, not looking at all happy. "I just don't know why I have to go there first. Why I can't go with you, Trixie and the rest of the family."

"Because, I want you there to be eyes and ears in a way I can't and the girls can't.  When I get there, I've got too much to do to get the lay of the land."

"Squig," Trixie shouted as she ran to where he was standing. "I couldn't let you leave without one more good bye kiss." She said wrapping her paws around him and kissing him soundly. Pushing him back, she looked him in the eye and smiled.  "Just remember, you're mine and don't go getting to friendly with those cowgirls."

Squig smiled as he leaned in for one more kiss.

"All aboard," the conductor called out and lifting his backpack, Squig turned to wave one last good bye and went down the stairs to board the train.

"I just have this feeling that everything is going to be so different once we're out west," Trixie said to herself sadly.

GO TO WWW.WELCOMETOKATZCITY.BLOGSPOT.COM to see what's going on there.

Finding Home Part IV - The Cat City Cafe

Trixie rushed into the den, barely taking the time to take off her coat and scarf. "Dweezil, so tell me all about our new restaurant. She cried out breathlessly, "I can hardly wait to hear all about it.

"Trixie sit down and catch your breath, " Dweezil smiled as he walked over to the desk and removed a full color brochure.  Putting on his reading glasses, he opened it and began reading.

"The Cat City Cafe is the only establishment in Cat City owned by descendants of the founding family.  In 1884, Louella Katz defied her father and opened a saloon and restaurant catering to the hoards of miners flooding the town.  Word spread quickly  of her fair prices and delectable meals and soon the Cafe was the largest and most well known establishment in the county.  From that time until the present day, it has been wholly owned and operated by a female member of the Katz family. It's doors have remained open in even the hardest of times.  During the great depression it served as the town's soup kitchen. And in every armed conflict, From World War I to the current action in Afghanistan it has served as a little reminder of home for our brave service cats in action."

Trixie listened intently, but something was bothering her so she had Dweezil read it again.  And finally after hearing it for the second time, asked, "But Dweezil what kind of food are they serving at the Cafe?"

To find out exactly what is being served at the Katz City Cafe go to www.welcometokatzcity.com

Finding Home Part III

"While we're waiting for Trixie," Dweezil said, let me tell you a little about the town. Anneabelle, this should interest you,  Let me see where did I put that description. Oh yes, here it is.

Katz City School is a progressive pre-K through 12 grade school. Principal Paul Kirki, PhD and Vice Principal Sally Alba, MA are taking the school into the 21st century with a host of progressive programs in the arts and athletics while maintaining the high educational standards that have made the school famous in this part of the state."

Go to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com to see what's going on at Katz City School.

Finding Home Part II Katz City

"Calm down," Dweezil said as the family rushed to him with a thousand questions.  "Let me sit down and Squig why don't you call Trixie and tell her to come over, she's going to want to hear about it too.

As soon as Squig came back, Dweezil sat himself down and said, " Katz City is the garden spot of southern Colorado. According to their website.  It is a town built on silver with a golden future.


To see what's going on in Katz City go to www.welcometokatzcity.blogspot.com

Finding Home Part II

Dweezil was so happy, he almost skipped into the kitchen.  He was holding an email he had printed and could hardly wait to share his good news with the rest of the family.

He stopped cleared his throat and then began, "Dear Mr. Felinerino,"

Squig, dropped his morning paper, and placing his paws squarely on the table, leaned forward and hissed, "read that to me again."

"Dear Mr. Felinerino," Dweezil repeated, puzzled over his friends' reaction.

"And Mr. Felinerino would be," Squig asked, laying back his ears.

"Me," Dweezil said touching his paw to his chest, "I am Mr. Felinerino."

"You mean to tell me that for all of these years while you were giving me a load of crap about being Squigman Igmeioukowski, you were hiding a name like Felinerino?  Wasn't just a few months ago that a cat named Felinerino actually had the nerve to say that a worm or an amoeba would be embarrassed to be named Igmeiouskowski,"

"There is absolutely no comparison between Felinerno and Igmeioukowski," Dweezil said airily, waving his paw for emphasis.  Felinerino is melodious and bell sounding.  It is regal and uplifting.  While Igmeioukowski sounds like a bad combination of a lady cat in heat and duck farting,"

"Why you, miserable snake," Squig squawked preparing to hurl himself on to Dweezil.  He was stopped almost in mid leap by shriek of a police whistle.

Yvette lowered her whistle and said calmly, "Is there something else you would like to share with us Dweezil, besides our last name."

"Yes," Dweezil grumbled.  "My offer to buy the Katz City Cafe was excepted.  We are moving to Colorado in the spring.

Finding Home

Dweezil sat at his desk looking at his well pawed copy of Feline Entrepreneur, the Chef's Edition.  He had bookmarked four possibilities and he looked over them one last time before he made his final decision.  It would be his decision after all.  He'd told the others that they'd have a say in where they landed.  But the decision was ultimately his.  He'd figure a way to convince it was all of their decisions once he'd finalized his plans.

Le Chat, a chic bistro in New York City was his first choice.  It was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more.  From the decor to the location to the described clientele,  it was just perfect. Perfect, except for one tiny flaw.  It was just perfect for him.  Trixie would never be able to manage that sophisticated a wait staff.  They'd be on to her in a minute. And Squigman, what would he do?  And Annabelle, when he thought about all of the temptations and trouble a pretty little kitten could get herself into; he knew that he'd have to pass.

That left, The Cozy Inn in Felandria, Minnesota.  The description looked good.  A cheerful place where the happy clientele came in from the cold to warm up to delicious food and good company.  But he'd had enough of the polar vortex to last a lifetime and so anyplace in Minnesota was out of the question.

Then there was the Sea Shell Cafe in Key West.  Too hot.  He'd have to spend a fortune getting himself shaved and what was the point of having long hair if you had to spend your life looking like Squigman.  So that was out.  It was a pity because he was testing out some new seafood recipes, he like to offer.  But the thought of spending his days with short hair, was a price he wasn't willing to pay,

La Cantina, in Taos, New Mexico.  He could see them all thriving in that artistic town.  But he didn't know any Mexican dishes and he knew enough to know that learning on the job was not an option.

That left the Cat City Cafe in Cat City, Colorado. It was described as a thriving yet intimate establishment, where the patrons came for a good time and good food and always left with a satisfied smile.  Cat City was described on it's website as the garden spot of the San Madres.  A town founded by silver with a golden future.  The wild west tamed by intellect and sophistication.  It was in short, a place anyone would be proud to call home.

So it was decided.  They were moving to Cat City, Colorado.

The Winds of Change Part IV - An Agreement is reached

"You're going to move?" Trixie asked deflating like a balloon.

"Trixie, my dear," Dweezil said smiling over at her. "I said we're going to have to move.  Just think about the opportunities a new location will provide.  We can all make a fresh new start.  See new things, meet new freinds. Create a whole new life for ourselves."

Dweezil looked over at her as his words sunk in. She could go somewhere brand new where no one had ever heard of Dominatrixie.  She could be that respectable, in charge professional that been hiding underneath all of those layers of sleaze.  She could be Ms. Trixie Catotski, Manager, the boss of all she surveyed.  Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she said primly, "I couldn't let you start a business all by yourself, of course I'll come with you."

Yvette, seeing the long line of lonely, viril bachelors of a certain age fading into nothingness, said, "Son, I couldn't let you move to a place where you didn't have family.  Of course I'll go with you."

"What about me, father," Annie squeaked. "I want to go too.  I want to go too."

"Anneabelle, of course you're coming with us.  There is no way we would leave without you."

"But you could leave without me," Squig screamed jumping up.  "Every last one of you could leave me sitting here all by myself."

"Why no, Squigman," Dweezil said pleasantly, "Of course you are coming with us.  We are not moving without you."

Squig sat down and looked as three pairs of female eyes stared over at him, all of them just daring him to mess up this glorious opportunity.   And in that instant, he knew what Dweezil had done.  Without asking him directly, he fixed so that he had to move, whether he wanted to or not.

"Allright, Dweezil," he grumped. "Count me in.  I'm coming with you to where ever it is we are going."

"Thank you Squigman," Dweezil purred. It wouldn't be the same without you.

The Winds of Change Part II Devising a Plan

Dweezil sat his desk with a pad of paper and a pen, trying to think up ways to motivate the family to move.  This was not going to be easy.  He drummed his claws on the desk as he connived ways to motivate Squigman.  Mr. Squigman was a slug, a set in his ways, lazy slug.  The only way to motivate him to move was with a stick of dynamite, or a rope tied securely around his legs and two burly cats hired to drag him, screaming and protesting, out of the house.

But wait, if Squigman was a lazy slug, Trixie certainly wasn't.  So the way to motivate Squigman was to motivate Trixie.  Now what would motivate her?  A wonderful job opportunity at his chic cafe.  She was currently a bar maid and he would just be willing to bet, she'd like a promotion, say to chief waitress.  That was it,  He offer her the job of chief waitress, the boss of all the other wait staff. That would get her securely in his corner.

"Now what about mother," he thought to himself.  What would motivate her.  His mother was only ten and still very attractive in a middle aged sort of way.  What if he offered her the job of hostess and hinted that she would be in an excellent position to meet all sorts of gentlemen cats of a certain age.  He smiled diabolically at the thought of just how fast his mother would find herself motivated to move.

That left Annabelle and she was just a kitten, so he could make up any number of exciting adventures she would be having in her new home town.

It was done.  He would motivate the females and they would gang up on Squigman and he wouldn't have to do a thing.

"When you're doing the right thing, " he congratulated himself, "everything else just falls into place.

TO BE CONTINUED